Changes in the Disney Parks: A realistic look back at Epcot Center's Maelstrom

It’s no secret that some Disney fans become outraged by a pixie dust grain sized update to any attraction in a Disney Park. From Mr. Toad.. to Captain Nemo… to a slightly shorter lawnmower setting when cutting the hub grass, any change according to this particular type of Disney fanatic is cause for outcry.

“Was the ride worth all of the polar pushback? We say No(r)Way!”

When Disney announced in 2014 that EPCOT’s World Showcase Norway pavilion ride, The Maelstrom, would be replaced with a Frozen themed ride, you can bet you bottom Krone that people took to handcuffing themselves to wildly overpriced Fair Isle gift shop sweater sleeves in protest. Was the ride worth all of the polar pushback? We say No(r)Way!

Let’s begin by listing all of the things that we liked and miss about The Maelstrom.

1. Our Viking ship vessel was small enough that each party had its own row and did not have to sit next to strangers.

End of list.

“This Viking with a cataract told us that we were not the first to pass this way and we would not be the last. Really Lars? Because your empty line queue tells a different tale.”

Now, keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside of this blog while we revisit this musty smelling voyage’s unclear storyline. After boarding and viking-spreading across our very own entire row, our ship floated around the corner to receive a foreboding message from a Viking with a glowing eye. This Viking with a cataract told us that we were not the first to pass this way and we would not be the last. Really Lars? Because your empty line queue tells a different tale.

Also, here’s the number of my Ophthalmologist.

Next, after a brief altercation with a three headed troll, our Viking ship was “blown” all the way to modern, well, 1988 Norway, which is essentially Viking Norway plus oil rigs.

As a rider who had just traveled over 1000 years propelled by trolls’ breath, the oil rigs seem a bit superfluous. After docking and disembarking from our troll halitosis vessel, we were emphatically encouraged to view a film about Norway produced concurrently with the first season of The Simpsons.

“As a rider who had just traveled over 1000 years propelled by trolls’ breath, the oil rigs seem a bit superfluous.”

So, is this a case of Disney fans lamenting any change, no matter how lackluster the attraction may be? We say the proof is in the broodpudding.

After almost 30 years of what we can only assume to be Norway’s worst years of tourism revenue, it was time for the Maelstrom voyage to end… so just “Let It Go”!